Who is the best baseball player of all-time?  

Answer: We will never know.

Sports fans have a desire to quantify and rank athletes’ careers. Put simply, people want to know who the best was.

While analysts, statistic junkies, et al claim to have accurate lists, these declarations are based on incomplete evidence. Statistics cannot wholly account for the differences between eras. Changes in technology, competitions levels, the coaching focus, and the degree of racial equality (to name a few) ensure that juxtapositions of players from many decades will always be lacking.

As such, historical grades and “all-time rosters” are mere speculation.

Babe Ruth could have been an average player if he played today.

On Hockey Night in Canada’s Hotstove, the former Islanders general manager commented on the National Hockey League’s investigation into the headshots issue.

“The softening of the game continues,” he said. “If you’re going to give the headshot thing a look, let’s make sure we go back to allowing little tussle around the net, instead of excuse me go ahead.”

Unfortunately, co-panelists Glenn Healy and Pierre LeBrun could not comment, as Milbury’s comments came at the end of the eight-minute intermission segment.

For two weeks, unknown sports and athletes rivet the world. Nobodies become somebodies and strangers become bear hug recipients. But like a party’s attraction, whose shirt removal, ridiculous dancing, and karaoke singing results in a guffaw, the curlers, skiers, snowboarders, lugers, bobsledders, et al will be forgotten. They will be relegated to the far ends of their respective country’s collective consciousness.

Levels of nationalism, a word that is twisted more often than a balloon animal, return to pre-Olympic states, as patriotism* is expressed through actions, not memories. For most spectators, the 2010 Olympics was a fantastic experience. People had a great time and cheered on their country’s “heroes.” The overall event will not escape the minds of the masses, but the action-based national pride will vanish.

The Olympics will not lead to more people voting, singing the national anthem, joining the military, or buying homegrown products. Frankly, the number of patriotic acts will not meaningfully increase.

Some occurrences and names will not be erased. Most notably, Sidney Crosby’s gold-medal winning goal against the United States will remain in the host country’s psyche for decades. Yet, the suggestion that a lasting amplification of Canadiana has arrived is fallacious.

There is no question that many nations, Canada especially, were closer to unification for sixteen days than they normally are. But, the conversation should end there. Alas, commentators choose to use slippery slope arguments, such as “this nation will never be the same.” Unless one is referring to governmental deficits, this supposition is patently absurd. History does not support it.

The “Miracle on Ice” and 1972 Summit Series, two paradigms of inspirational sporting moments, did not forever change degrees of nationalism. Sure, one remembers when Al Michaels belted his famous call, “Do you believe in miracles?” or Paul Henderson scored for Canada. But, we must not confuse pleasant reminiscence with patriotism.

These were not national game changers. They were tremendous moments.

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*”Patriotism” and “nationalism” are interchangeable terms.

Answers:

Roth, can you name 13 things that are as useless than watching hours of coverage of yesterday’s trade deadline?

There are an infinite number of things that are as useless as yesterday’s National Hockey League trade deadline coverage. But to ensure pragmatism, here are thirteen:

1. A teenager’s text messages
2. Sarah Palin’s foreign policy
3. A Don Cherry lecture on tolerance
4. The locution “whether or not” (whether implies not)  
5. Louis Vuitton and Juicy pet clothing
6. The NDP singing O Canada to protest Harper’s prorogation
7. North American airport security
8. TMZ
9. Epic Movie
10. Plans for a Toronto Maple Leafs Stanley Cup parade
11. A sleeveless shirt in the Arctic
12. The “Shoes” video on You Tube
13. Most Guinness world records

Of significant players who have not been rumored to be on the move at the deadline, who do you think may be dealt?

Answer: Nobody

Two major trades were completed before the deadline-the Kovalchuk and Phaneuf deals.

Usually, players whose names have floated around the rumor mill are the ones who are moved. Shocking transactions do not typically occur, as most eleventh hour trades involve expiring contracts and depth players. As such, an unmentioned superstar moving is unlikely. Alexei Ponikarovsky, Dennis Seidenberg, Ray Whitney, Lee Stempniak, Scott Walker, Aaron Ward, Kamil Kreps, Carlo Colaicavo, Keith Tkachuk, Ethan Moreau, Mike Comrie, Jason Strudwick, and Sheldon Souray (among others) should be at the forefront.  

TSN and Sportsnet may boast that deadline day is always very busy. The reality is that most of the trades are insignificant. This year is unlikely to bean exception.

ESPN goes TMZ: 

ESPN calls itself the “worldwide leader in sports.” Evidently, divorce court is a sport.

On its website, the network posted details of a Barry Bonds’ upcoming divorce. Subsequently, the article recounted the slugger’s marriage history.

While tasteless outlets, like TMZ and People Magazine, will never stop destroying families, invading private lives, and turning pages into toilet paper, these types of posts do not belong on “reputable” companies’ spaces.

Becoming a celebrity should not require one to surrender all privacy. It should not be a prison sentence for their children. Frankly, nobody should be subjected to having every restroom visit placed under the microscope.

Leave them alone. Bequeath the gossip to the trashy publications.

Hyperbole:

The Canadian Olympics women’s hockey team celebrated its gold medal victory by bringing alcohol and cigars on the ice. They draped themselves in their country’s flag and lay on the ice looking skyward.

The public lambasted them for a poor display of sportsmanship (well, sportswomanship).

Were there actions immature? Yes. But, the outcry has reached ridiculous proportions.

First, the women brought out the champagne and stogies when all fans had exited the arena. They did not notice that an Associated Press photographer remained in the building. Contrary to popular belief, they did not intend to “party hard” openly.

People need to lighten up. Although this was not a display of humility at its best, IOC “investigations” and Richard Nixon-like scorn is excessive. 

Bias Olympics Coverage:

Putting a Canadian spin on the Olympics is acceptable. However, Canada’s Olympics consortium’s broadcasts have been irritatingly bias. The focus is too nationalistic.

 A Canadian who wins the bonze medal should not receive more attention than the gold medallist. The broadcasters ought to quit being fans and let the events speak for themselves.

*Be sure to send in suggestions for the next edition of the The Lowly Trilogy.

Answer: The Los Angels of Anaheim

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim had a devastating off-season. The franchise lost three of its best players, including the versatile Chone Figgins, ace John Lackey, and relief pitcher Darren Oliver.

With Figgins out of the fold, the Angels has lost one of the best leadoff hitters in the game. In 158 contests last year, the Leary, Georgia native stole 42 bases and posted a sparkling .395 on-base percentage. While the club with the worst name in sports has plenty of options for the first spot in the batting order, namely Erick Eybar and Maicer Izturis, Figgins was the most attractive choice. Unfortunately for manager Mike Scioscia, he will see his former third baseman often, for the Angels and Chone’s new team, the Seattle Mariners, are in the same division.

When Lackey signed with the Boston Red Sox, the Halos lost its ace. The University of Texas at Arlington alumnus recorded a 3.83 ERA and 1.27 WHIP in 27 2009 starts. Opponents hit to a .715 OPS against the right-hander. A consistent performer, his deletion from the roster will hurt.

Like most relievers, Oliver is overlooked. In 73 innings last season, he pitched to a 2.71 ERA and 1.14 WHIP. He held opponents to a .647 OPS, a tremendous achievement. Losing Oliver to the Texas Rangers will sting. Though Fernando Rodney signed with Anaheim, his statistics pale in comparison to Oliver’s. Yes, a .727 OPS against, 4.40 ERA, and 1.47 WHIP in 75.2 innings are far from impressive numbers.

The Angels made one improvement this winter. The signing of Hideki Matsui, who hit .274/.367/.509, with 28 home runs in ’09, is an upgrade over Vladimir Guerrero’s injury-plagued .295/.334/.460, with 15 homers, performance. But, on the whole, this is a much weaker team than last year’s.

The Cold War is over.

In fact (insert melodramatic whisper here), it ended in 1991.

Yet dinosaurs like Mike Milbury and Don Cherry must be flabbergasted, for they continue to spew ethnocentric venom with the frequency of a chemist’s use of the periodic table of elements.

Following Canada’s dominant victory over Russia in the Olympics men’s hockey tournament, Milbury, an “analyst” for NBC, found yet another time to malign.

“I was really disappointed that these guys came with their Euro-trash game,” he groaned. ”It was no heart, no guts, no nothing there to back it up.”

“Did you really say Euro-trash? Did that come out your mouth?” replied host Bill Patrick.

“Yes, I did,” said the proud intellect who has coined such gems as “pansification” and “The kid is playing like he’s sniffing glue.”

And so the prejudicial pedagogy continues. Sports networks, namely the CBC and NBC, continue to provide bigots with platforms… all to improve the bottom line. Controversy sells. There is not another justification to keep Cherry and Milbury employed. Pathetic.

Folks, the Cold War ended almost two decades ago. The Iron Curtain has thankfully fallen. The “Red Scare” should only apply to our fear of ridiculously right-winged commentators Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, who think that President Obama is the devil.* While Canada and Russia will always remain hockey rivals, the level of nationalistic chauvinism, especially in the western hemisphere, is disturbing.

But, the Olympics brings people together, right?

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*Red is the color of the Republican Party.

Jake, the MLB’s Spring training is here and I couldn’t be more excited. Which team do you think has improved the most I like the Mariners. Your thoughts?

 Answer: Seattle Mariners

Your assessment is sound, Simon!

With the additions of Cliff Lee, Chone Figgins, and Milton Bradley, the Seattle Mariners, barring injuries, should compete with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim for a division title in the American League West.

The M’s now possess the best 1-2 punches in Major League Baseball.

Offensively, Ichiro Suzuki and Figgins should be a force to be reckoned with. Last season, they posted .386 and .395 on-base percentages respectively. Their career OBP are .378 and .363 correspondingly. Both men have excellent speed. In 146 games last year, Ichiro stole 26 bases. In 2008, he swiped 43 bags in 162 contests. Figgins had 42 stolen bases in 2009. His career high is 62. Ichiro and Chone will reach base a lot and wreak havoc on the paths.

 On the pitching front, Seattle also has an incredible duo. Newly acquired Cy Young Award winner Cliff Lee and Felix Hernandez would be aces on most teams across the league. Enough said.

While some view Milton Bradley as a headache who monopolizes (pun intended!)  clubhouses, the Harbor City, California native thrives in the OBP department. He recorded a .378 clip with the Cubs last season, .7 points above his career average. And, whom did the Mariners surrender for the outfielder? The club dealt Carlos Silva, who has had earned run averages of 6.46 and 8.60 over the last two campaigns.

General manager Jack Zduriencik certainly had a productive off-season.

P.S. Sorry for the lack of posts lately. This is really busy time of the year!