The most overpaid goaltender in the National Hockey League has underachieved since signing a four-year, $22.4 million pact with the Hawks in the summer of 2008. This season, the thirty-four year old has posted a poor .899 save percentage, which is ten points lower than the mediocre .909 clip he recorded last year.

Chicago has only 14 players under contract next season for a combined salary cap hit of $57.5 million. Put simply, the club is over the cap and will have to delete expensive players from the roster. As such, Huet’s looming removal is glaring. Antti Niemi’s coup has made the decision even more obvious. (That said, the Finnish netminder is set to become a restricted free agent and will certainly improve on his $826 875 salary.)

There is only one question that remains. How will general manager Stan Bowman go about moving the Huet’s $5.625 million cap figure?

Dealing the goalie would be counterproductive. There is almost no chance of another NHL team trading for Huet unless Chicago takes back another dreadful contract or includes draft choices and/or prospects.

Buying out Huet is a flawed proposal. If the Blackhawks took this route, he would be on the books for four years, with a $1.875 annual cap hit.

The only sound strategies involve completely eliminating Huet’s cap hit, a feat that could be accomplished via two avenues.

Bowman could bury the goalie in the minors. While the Hawks would have to pay the 214^th pick the 2001 Entry Draft his full salary, the dollars would not count against the cap.

The other option is to lend Huet to a franchise in the Kontinental Hockey League. The financial terms between the two organizations would have to be negotiated. (The KHL team would probably pick up the majority of the France native’s tab.) But, this arrangement would completely eliminate the $5.625 million cap albatross. This alternative would only be feasible if the player consented. However, the Hawks could threaten to limit the goalie’s playing time in the American Hockey League, potentially making the KHL more attractive to Huet than two years with the Rockford IceHogs (no, that is not a spelling error). 

Moving one awful contract will not be a financial panacea. But, it must be done.

Why is Cito Gaston the manager for one year?

Answer: The higher ups

Sixty-five year old Cito Gaston, arguably the worst field manager in Major League Baseball, is entering his final season in the Blue Jays’ dugout. The obvious question must therefore be asked. Why not replace him this year?

The answer reeks of meddling from the higher ups, particularly president Paul Beeston. Frankly, it does not fit the rebuilding mold of general manager Alex Anthopoulos.

Beeston and Gaston have a history. The two won a couple World Series rings together in 1992 and ’93.

2010 should be an ugly year for Toronto. As such, leaving Gaston, a local hero, at the helm makes business sense.

Are you a fan of the NHL’s new headshot rules?

Answer: Yes!

Upon approval from the National League’s board of governors and competition committee, new headshot legislation will be in place next season.

A hit to the head from the back or side will be outlawed. Put simply, a shoulder hit to the cranium will only be legal if a player is skating towards a hitter. Blindside hits will be banned.

While the NHL should ban concrete shoulder and elbow pads, the recent ruling is progress. Penalizing blows to unsuspecting players will not eliminate physicality from the game. But, it will make the sport safer.

Who is the best baseball player of all-time?  

Answer: We will never know.

Sports fans have a desire to quantify and rank athletes’ careers. Put simply, people want to know who the best was.

While analysts, statistic junkies, et al claim to have accurate lists, these declarations are based on incomplete evidence. Statistics cannot wholly account for the differences between eras. Changes in technology, competitions levels, the coaching focus, and the degree of racial equality (to name a few) ensure that juxtapositions of players from many decades will always be lacking.

As such, historical grades and “all-time rosters” are mere speculation.

Babe Ruth could have been an average player if he played today.

On Hockey Night in Canada’s Hotstove, the former Islanders general manager commented on the National Hockey League’s investigation into the headshots issue.

“The softening of the game continues,” he said. “If you’re going to give the headshot thing a look, let’s make sure we go back to allowing little tussle around the net, instead of excuse me go ahead.”

Unfortunately, co-panelists Glenn Healy and Pierre LeBrun could not comment, as Milbury’s comments came at the end of the eight-minute intermission segment.

For two weeks, unknown sports and athletes rivet the world. Nobodies become somebodies and strangers become bear hug recipients. But like a party’s attraction, whose shirt removal, ridiculous dancing, and karaoke singing results in a guffaw, the curlers, skiers, snowboarders, lugers, bobsledders, et al will be forgotten. They will be relegated to the far ends of their respective country’s collective consciousness.

Levels of nationalism, a word that is twisted more often than a balloon animal, return to pre-Olympic states, as patriotism* is expressed through actions, not memories. For most spectators, the 2010 Olympics was a fantastic experience. People had a great time and cheered on their country’s “heroes.” The overall event will not escape the minds of the masses, but the action-based national pride will vanish.

The Olympics will not lead to more people voting, singing the national anthem, joining the military, or buying homegrown products. Frankly, the number of patriotic acts will not meaningfully increase.

Some occurrences and names will not be erased. Most notably, Sidney Crosby’s gold-medal winning goal against the United States will remain in the host country’s psyche for decades. Yet, the suggestion that a lasting amplification of Canadiana has arrived is fallacious.

There is no question that many nations, Canada especially, were closer to unification for sixteen days than they normally are. But, the conversation should end there. Alas, commentators choose to use slippery slope arguments, such as “this nation will never be the same.” Unless one is referring to governmental deficits, this supposition is patently absurd. History does not support it.

The “Miracle on Ice” and 1972 Summit Series, two paradigms of inspirational sporting moments, did not forever change degrees of nationalism. Sure, one remembers when Al Michaels belted his famous call, “Do you believe in miracles?” or Paul Henderson scored for Canada. But, we must not confuse pleasant reminiscence with patriotism.

These were not national game changers. They were tremendous moments.

____________________________

*”Patriotism” and “nationalism” are interchangeable terms.

Answers:

Roth, can you name 13 things that are as useless than watching hours of coverage of yesterday’s trade deadline?

There are an infinite number of things that are as useless as yesterday’s National Hockey League trade deadline coverage. But to ensure pragmatism, here are thirteen:

1. A teenager’s text messages
2. Sarah Palin’s foreign policy
3. A Don Cherry lecture on tolerance
4. The locution “whether or not” (whether implies not)  
5. Louis Vuitton and Juicy pet clothing
6. The NDP singing O Canada to protest Harper’s prorogation
7. North American airport security
8. TMZ
9. Epic Movie
10. Plans for a Toronto Maple Leafs Stanley Cup parade
11. A sleeveless shirt in the Arctic
12. The “Shoes” video on You Tube
13. Most Guinness world records

Of significant players who have not been rumored to be on the move at the deadline, who do you think may be dealt?

Answer: Nobody

Two major trades were completed before the deadline-the Kovalchuk and Phaneuf deals.

Usually, players whose names have floated around the rumor mill are the ones who are moved. Shocking transactions do not typically occur, as most eleventh hour trades involve expiring contracts and depth players. As such, an unmentioned superstar moving is unlikely. Alexei Ponikarovsky, Dennis Seidenberg, Ray Whitney, Lee Stempniak, Scott Walker, Aaron Ward, Kamil Kreps, Carlo Colaicavo, Keith Tkachuk, Ethan Moreau, Mike Comrie, Jason Strudwick, and Sheldon Souray (among others) should be at the forefront.  

TSN and Sportsnet may boast that deadline day is always very busy. The reality is that most of the trades are insignificant. This year is unlikely to bean exception.

ESPN goes TMZ: 

ESPN calls itself the “worldwide leader in sports.” Evidently, divorce court is a sport.

On its website, the network posted details of a Barry Bonds’ upcoming divorce. Subsequently, the article recounted the slugger’s marriage history.

While tasteless outlets, like TMZ and People Magazine, will never stop destroying families, invading private lives, and turning pages into toilet paper, these types of posts do not belong on “reputable” companies’ spaces.

Becoming a celebrity should not require one to surrender all privacy. It should not be a prison sentence for their children. Frankly, nobody should be subjected to having every restroom visit placed under the microscope.

Leave them alone. Bequeath the gossip to the trashy publications.

Hyperbole:

The Canadian Olympics women’s hockey team celebrated its gold medal victory by bringing alcohol and cigars on the ice. They draped themselves in their country’s flag and lay on the ice looking skyward.

The public lambasted them for a poor display of sportsmanship (well, sportswomanship).

Were there actions immature? Yes. But, the outcry has reached ridiculous proportions.

First, the women brought out the champagne and stogies when all fans had exited the arena. They did not notice that an Associated Press photographer remained in the building. Contrary to popular belief, they did not intend to “party hard” openly.

People need to lighten up. Although this was not a display of humility at its best, IOC “investigations” and Richard Nixon-like scorn is excessive. 

Bias Olympics Coverage:

Putting a Canadian spin on the Olympics is acceptable. However, Canada’s Olympics consortium’s broadcasts have been irritatingly bias. The focus is too nationalistic.

 A Canadian who wins the bonze medal should not receive more attention than the gold medallist. The broadcasters ought to quit being fans and let the events speak for themselves.

*Be sure to send in suggestions for the next edition of the The Lowly Trilogy.