Boca Raton-Ladies and gentlemen, this is hot off the press. This news is so fresh that the paper it is inscribed on will set your hands ablaze. Brace yourselves. Breath in, find a place to sit, and drop all heavy machinery. Prepare to have your minds blown.
The Cold War is over.
In fact (insert melodramatic whisper here), it ended in 1991.
Yet dinosaurs like Mike Milbury and Don Cherry must be flabbergasted, for they continue to spew ethnocentric venom with the frequency of a chemist’s use of the periodic table of elements.
Following Canada’s dominant victory over Russia in the Olympics men’s hockey tournament, Milbury, an “analyst” for NBC, found yet another time to malign.
“I was really disappointed that these guys came with their Euro-trash game,” he groaned. ”It was no heart, no guts, no nothing there to back it up.”
“Did you really say Euro-trash? Did that come out your mouth?” replied host Bill Patrick.
“Yes, I did,” said the proud intellect who has coined such gems as “pansification” and “The kid is playing like he’s sniffing glue.”
And so the prejudicial pedagogy continues. Sports networks, namely the CBC and NBC, continue to provide bigots with platforms… all to improve the bottom line. Controversy sells. There is not another justification to keep Cherry and Milbury employed. Pathetic.
Folks, the Cold War ended almost two decades ago. The Iron Curtain has thankfully fallen. The “Red Scare” should only apply to our fear of ridiculously right-winged commentators Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, who think that President Obama is the devil.* While Canada and Russia will always remain hockey rivals, the level of nationalistic chauvinism, especially in the western hemisphere, is disturbing.
But, the Olympics brings people together, right?
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*Red is the color of the Republican Party.
who are ur teachers? they shoold all be fired as you dont no how to right. franklie u suk.
Roth: You are correct, sir. My teachers failed me. After all, my command of the English language pales in comparison to a spelling wiz like you. “Franklie,” I “suk” and “shood” not “right.”
You’re such an idiot. Milbury is right dude.
Roth: Why did you even bother commenting?
You’re a brilliant writer! I agree completely with the premise of your article. Bigotry is not acceptable, yet slides under the radar. Networks just overlook the problem. The “oh well” attitude disgusts me. Idiots like Milbury should be off the air forever.
Roth: Thanks, Hudson!
I think that you should have called this article:
“Milbury Mint”
Roth: What does that mean?
Take out the papers and the trash or you don’t get no spending cash
If you don’t scrub that kitchen floor you ain’t gonna rock’n roll no more
Those are my thoughts, Jake!
Roth: Thanks for copying the Coasters’ Yakety Yak lyrics.
I agree totally, Jake.
Roth: I’m glad!